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Sometimes we don't feel understood by the people around us.
Our friends don't get that we don't want to get out, our family tries to put us in a box that doesn't fit
and our partner....... well our partner isn't as empathetic as we thought. They start to behave as they
were doing everything against our will.
Sometimes we just need help regarding our relationship and that's totally fine.
Trust us, this is not the end of everything. A lot of people experience that kind of situation and there
is help for your relationship issues.
We want to help you and all the others that struggle with the same problem in any kind of
Communication is the NUMBER 1 RULE of any healthy relationship. It doesn't matter if you just
entered a new relationship or if you've been dating for quite a while now.
To be able to get your point of view and your feelings across, will help you to deal with problems in
your relationship or even prevent them.
Don't expect everything
Your partner is someone you trust, no matter how long you know each other. After a period of time
we tend to set our expectations pretty high, which is not bad. Not at all!
But you should never expect your partner to exactly know what's on your mind, what your
intentions are or what you feel.
Yes, to a certain extent they have a feeling for your needs, but they will never be able to read your
mind. Unless they are a wizard of course!
But if they are not you are the one who has to show them what's going on with you.
You should share your thoughts, what you struggle with and what you dislike (e.g. during sex, a
habit/behavior of your partner...).
At the same time it is very important to communicate what you like, what your goals in life are and
what you wish your partner could do more often, because you love that they do it.
They will appreciate your openness as well as that they will be able to help and adjust to your
needs, so both of you can have a fulfilling relationship.
It's not always easy... and that is okay.
And yes, talking about a very intimate topic is something a lot of people struggle with. Even if you
know each for a long time.
There is the angel on one shoulder that tells you, you should be open with your partner about it
while on the other the devil tells you that it isn't as important and not worthy to talk about or that
your partner will feel uncomfortable if you address the topic.
It is true that some people feel extremely uncomfortable or even start making fun of you when you
start to talk about something that is important to you. But that's not a reaction you should expect!
If your partner gets uncomfortable maybe even they have something they want to tell you and just
weren't able to.
And if the other one starts to make fun of you because of it, you should totally not be hanging
around with them.
So talking about all sorts of things is also an indicator for how well you and your partner suit each
other and if they are the person you can actually trust and rely on.
A few things that will help you
There are a few tips that can help you to communicate your needs so your relationship won't suffer
from the lack of it:
Tell your partner that what you saying is important for you!
A lot of the times when people try to communicate, the things they say are not taken serious
by their partner because they don't know that the need is important to them.
So try to tell your partner the importance of your need beforehand.
Start asking your partner how he feels!
Once you ask them, they usually ask you back and that's the moment where you can
honestly tell them.
Of course, you should be interested about their feelings and use this strategy only until you
are able to communicate how you feel on your own, without being asked. But for the
beginning it is helpful.
Write letters or talk on the phone!
Sometimes it's hard to look the person in the face and tell them your problems.
A few even get afraid and are not able to tell their problems anymore.
So if that is your problem, try to leave your partner a message or talk to them on the phone.
This of course is not the ultimate solution and you won't be able to handle all your problems
But it will help to get started to get some communication across in your relationship.
Ask them about their needs!
With no intentions other than wanting to help to improve your relationship, ask your partner
about their needs.
Just as you they also have needs and struggles they don't always talk about.
So make sure to let them know that their needs and opinions are important to you.
Last but not least, let them know that talking may be hard for you!
It's nothing you should be ashamed of.
For some people it just takes more time to talk openly about everything.
Just make sure your partner knows about it, so he can adjust to you and your needs.
Hopefully these tips will help you address important topics in your
Another really important advice we have found very helpful is when you and your partner try to sit
down once a week and talk about everything that's important to you and listen to what is important
to your partner.
And if you successfully master or already mastered the communication part in your relationship,
you will soon find a great improvement in your relationship!
by Amy J.